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 •─────⋅☾ INTRODUCTION ☽⋅─────•

 

I'm Mamuzzy or Zee.

Fanartist, fic writer, and occassionally funny.

English is not my first language.
Blog is 18+ by default. 

My current fixation is Republic Commando, but I blog about other media too, mostly anime/manga, sometimes videogames. I am interested in everything that fucks up the mind.

You can expect here:
::: Horror and violence: Blood, gore, people killing each other on screen, especially when it's cartoon. 

::: 18+: I love pixel/drawn entities having sex.
::: Psychology: I enjoy topics and media with dysfunctional families, personality disorders, mental illnesses and how your own environment can fuck up/heal your psyche. 
::: History: I love men in armor/uniform. I enjoy military themed media, historical dramas and everything dictatorship related.
::: Comedy: I love when something makes me laugh from silly puns to dark/gallows humor. 

I have access lists too!!!

[Creative Access]: If I have knowledge about that you like my brain and art/fics, there is a big chance I will give you access, so send me a message for access. You will find my finished works that I post first here before uploading to public places, wips that I won't upload to social media, and headcanons/musings. But you have to be okay with a lot of fictional stuff so if you need elaborate tagging system to function in online spaces, maybe it's not for you.    

[After Dark]: Some thoughts I share under restricted access, but I may release them later. Consider this an incubation period for my adrenaline rush that I even dared to post about it. Jokes aside, some fiction from any media type that you can't talk about loud around normies without them losing their shit because they can't separate fiction from reality. Also some personal post. Send me a dm for this access, if you are okay with a LOT OF STUFF regarding fiction.  


SHIP AND LET SHIP principle both active for both access and I don't tag things. 

•─────⋅☾NAVIGATION ☽⋅─────•

Personal
╰┈➤ #zee has a life: Personal posts that are not fandom related
╰┈➤ #zee's treasures: I love sharing my trinkets or the stuff I love :< 
╰┈➤ #the fandom menace:Sometimes I vent about that bothers me in fanspaces


Creative (you need access for most of this)

╰┈➤ #wip: Snippets and progression update regarding my current creative projects
╰┈➤ #zee's fanart : if you want to see my finished art before I uploading in everywhere else
╰┈➤ #brainjuice : non sexual headcanons, or analysis/reinterpretations/transformative approach of the source material, so basically anything that is not bookblogging and meta
╰┈➤ #hornyposting Everything all above but they probably have sex. 

MEDIA related 
╰┈➤#zee watches stuff:Small entries about the stuff I watched recently
╰┈➤#zee reads stuff: Blogging about books/comics but not dissected that much
╰┈➤#zee reads: the phantom menace : Book blogging about the novellization of The Phantom Menace
╰┈➤#zee reads: hard contact : Book blogging of Republic Commando: Hard Contact
( Chapter selection )

╰┈➤#zee reads: targets: Republic Commando short story between Hard Contact and Triple Zero

Outside links
╰┈➤ AO3: Fanfiction, Fanarts, NSFW stuff
╰┈➤ BSKY: I want to revive this account too but currently don't have the spoon for it

[Hard Contact] chapter 1: I'm still not over this

•───────•
“I’m sorry,” she said. Sliding her hand carefully inside her cloak, she felt for the familiar cylinder. She hadn’t wanted the Weequay to know that she was a Jedi, but if this farmer was considering turning her in for a few loaves or a bottle of urrqal, she’d need her lightsaber handy. “It was your barq or my life, I’m afraid.”
(...)
 “What were they after you for?” the farmer asked, ignoring her offer.

“The usual,” she said.

“Oh-ah, you’re not that good looking.”

“Charming.”

•───────•

Yes, I am still at this scene. 
If you just read this scene in a feminis lenses, the farmer's reaction is just purely devastating.

The weequay was an attempted-rapist and even if it was just some kind of toxic alpha male shit he pulled off, he surely would have killed Etain. Etain was there, she ALMOST experienced it. Of course she downplayed with a complete stranger who in response went: You are too ugly to be raped. 

And honestly all I can think about is how people usually blame girls for their assault, if they are dressing revealing. If they are pretty or enacting desire in other people with their look. If they put on make up a certain way, the skirt length is too short, the color is not proper. Basically it gives you the message that you can be only safe from the rapists if you dress like a wallflower. WHICH IS BULLSHIT.

And then there is the other extreme. If you are gender nonconforming, if your clothes are not pretty or not revealing, if your face is not up for the generally accepted beauty standards, people get in uncomfortable silence and think: but... your are... not even that pretty. Why would they attack you? 

Honestly... it's just humiliating. You are the victim, or you almost got assaulted, and not enough that you were hurt, or in shock, you are the one who is humiliated afterwards. 

It can. Happen. EVERYWHERE AND TO ANYONE. 

Is this scene awful? YES.

Do I want to change it? NO. Abso-fucking-lutely NOT. 

This is the rawness I love RepComm for. 

[Hard Contact] Chapter 1: Etain I love you. That's it.

One other thing I liked about Etain's very un-majestic intro being covered in shit, and how actually she just waved away the fact that the farmer called her ugly, that she is actually WITTY. 

It was said she didn't want to reveal herself to the weequay because it would have meant an inevitable combat situation where Etain would have to kill him (also later we know she has important data on herself. Also if I remember correctly she never killed people before.) But the Jedi are peacekeepers. Their sheer presence is supposed to make opposing opponents stop with the fights. Etain knows that she doesn't have to actually cut down the farmer to make her will come forward. He only needs to know that she is a Jedi. She basically has to show off her lightsaber a bit and it the farmer's mind fills the gap: YOU DON'T MESS WITH HER. 

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
 “Oh-ah.” He shook his head, engaged in some internal conversation. “I’m Birhan, and this is my land. And I thought you lot were supposed to be able to use some sort of mind control tricks.”

“How do you know I haven’t?” Etain lied.

•───────•°•❀•°•───────•
She wasn’t going to volunteer the obvious if he hadn’t spotted it for himself. A disappointment to her Master, she was clearly not the best of the bunch. She struggled with the Force and she grappled with self-discipline, 
(...)

Yes, Etain was a Padawan, technically speaking.

She just happened to be one who was a breath away from building permadomes in refugee camps. She reasoned that part of a Jedi’s skill was the simple use of psychology. And if Birhan wanted to think the Force was strong in her, and that there was a lot more behind the external shell of a gawky, plain girl covered in stinking dung, then that was fine by her.

It would keep her alive a little longer while she worked out what to do next.
•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Etain, you are actually not far from the truth. Imagine when you send Jedi on diplomatic mission and all they have to do is using mind tricks on people here and there! They would never allow jedi into politics ever again! No, THEY ARE ACTUALLY TAUGHT how to deal with people. Culture, language, history, manners. 

But also we see that Etain terribly looks down on herself and on her skills. Master Fulier. It's good you are dead otherwise I would kick you in the shin for neglecting her.