[HARD CONTACT] Chapter 7: Survivor's guilt

[mamuzzy]

|| Republic Commando: Hard Contact || 2004 || Book series || Military, Sci-Fi || 18+ for violence and harrowing themes ||

“Is that how they see us?” Niner asked. “Ordinary people, that is. Like droids?”

“No,” Atin said. “We don’t have any scrap value.” He laughed and stopped short with a small gasp. It must have hurt him. “I’m going to slow you down.”

Love Atin and his dark humor. Atin got injured while saving Niner and now they finally found a chance to talk too.

“Thanks anyway. Want to explain why you’ve been Darman?”

Atin was holding his rifle carefully, a handspan clear of his chest. “I’ve been the last man left standing in two squads now.”

“Oh.” Silence. Niner prompted: “Want to tell me how?”

“First squad tried to rescue me on a live range exercise. I didn’t need rescuing. Not that badly, anyway.”

“Ah.” Niner felt instantly appalled at himself for thinking Atin didn’t care what happened to Darman. He was just caring too much. “My training sergeant said there was something called survivor’s guilt. He also said that in those cases, having you survive was what your squad wanted.”

“They bred a lot of stuff out of us. Why not that as well?”

Niner stopped dragging Atin’s pack and slung his rifle over his shoulder. He lifted the pack and was glad to carry it.

“If they had, I might not be here now,” he said, and knew Darman would be waiting for them tomorrow.

My heart is breaking for Atin asking why couldn't they just remove the "features" out of them like survivor's guilt. TT__TT

Comments

[ithillia]

</3 I always loved how subtle Atin is in expressing his emotions for the others. He doesn't care if he is misunderstood, but as if he is afraid of showing - FEELING - emotions. Because if he would do that, then those emotions would be TOO MUCH to bear.