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I am obsessed every instance where Darman is described as a child in the Force. But there is another reason I love this particular scene. It's Etain finally having breakdown and Darman's propaganda-induced pink filter about the Jedi finally shatters.
More under the cut:
Darman looked at Etain. She squirmed. “Out of ideas, soldier?” she asked.I love Etain's character. Strong woman who have no idea how strong she was all along. That her strength and willpower was her own to keep going. She did it alone. All along. Etain wasn't strong so far because that's her default setting. She was strong because she had to be. And this is why I love the scene when she finally freaks out. Etain freaked out because Darman is finally here. Darman is a safe person to be around. A hypercompetent, very confident person who just knows how to get shit done, like it's natural, or at least this is what he radiates from himself. Also it worths to note it that Etain always had a leader figure all her life - a Master -, and we are talking about a religious order with strict hierarchical structure. But the point is, with Darman along, Etain finally doesn't have fight for her own life. She doesn't have to keep going anymore with high vigilance, she doesn't have to pretend she is emotionally fine, that she can hold herself together. Having to lower these walls before Darman is a sign of trust. It's a begging: Please YOU DO something. I did what I could, but I don't know what happens now.
“I await your orders, Commander.”
It was the final straw. Weeks of fear, hunger, and fatigue on top of years of doubt and disillusion suddenly brought Etain’s fragile edifice crashing down. She had done all she could do, and there was nothing left in her to give.
“Stop it, stop calling me Commander.” She felt her nails dig into her palms. “I am not your blasted commander. I haven’t a clue what to do next. You’re on your own, Darman. You’re the soldier. You come up with a plan.”
Etain is also aware that this outburst was out of line, not very Jedi-like. It fits into the pattern she describes about herself (and in the later books) that she is impulsive. Very reactive. The reason why she is terrified she won't be knighted.
Also this scene included of course Darman's reaction. My absolute favorite:
Darman changed before her eyes. He transformed not in the physical sense that the Gurlanin had, but the change was just as startling because the sense of the child that Etain detected so clearly simply evaporated. Its place was taken by calm resignation and something else, a rather forlorn feeling. She couldn’t pin it down.
“Yes ma’am,” he said. “I’ll do that right away.”
Darman. For me, in my reading, this scene doesn't mean that Etain senses literally a 10-year-old child trapped in an adult body. Etain senses through the Force that Darman has a soul of child. Uncorrupted. Untainted. Darman while outright says he is 10 years old, he doesn't think himself as a child. He is a soldier. But Darman only just escaped from the sterile walls of Kamino and the world of simulated realities and textbooks. Darman haven't met with the evils of the world. He haven't faced with injustice. He was never disappointed before until he got here. Darman believes what he does has a meaning, the meaning that was drilled into his brain, just how it was drilled into his brain through propaganda: the Jedi are godlike creatures, who were born to lead armies with their mighty powers, and with their wisdom, they know the secrets of the universe. And what Etain senses here that Darman's dream about these Jedi are shattering - the child disappears.
If we stick to Christian symbolism (It's Star Wars so why not): Darman is an angel who's pure white wings is starting to get tainted by learning what it means to be a Person. Soon he can no longer return back to Paradise. Darman was abandoned here. A Jedi - HIS LITERAL GOD - just said to him: YOU ARE ON YOUR OWN. DON'T EXPECT ME TO LEAD YOU. Darman realized: there are no Gods. The Jedi are no Gods. Only humans. Mortals.
But you know what I liked in this? That even if the child died here in this moment, faith cannot be killed. Especially when you don't have anything else to turn to:
“What do you think I am?” he asked quietly.Darman wanted to believe in Etain even if Etain didn't believe in herself. And this faith needed for Etain to reconsider her stance.
“From what Jinart says, a clone soldier bred to obey.” She watched him break the wood and the crusts into separate chunks and place them in a row like game pieces. “No choice.”
“But I do have a choice,” he said. “A choice in how I interpret your orders. I’m intelligent. I’ve seen Jedi fight, so I know what you’re capable of. Once you’re exposed to situations that call on your skills, you’ll be the same.”
He was all contradictions. She wondered for a moment if he wasn’t a clone soldier at all but another Gurlanin playing spiteful games with her. But she could feel a combination of quiet desperation and … faith. Yes, faith.
He was the only person in many years who had shown any degree of confidence in her, and the first since Master Fulier who had shown her real kindness.Jinart - rather rudely - said that this man needs a leader, but Etain realized that Darman's reassurance was needed in this situation, not threats from a stranger:
“Very well,” she said. “This is your overriding order. Whatever happens, you are to intervene if anything I do or say compromises your mission. No, don’t look at me like that.” She held up her hand to stifle the protest she could see forming on his lips. “Think of me as a commander in training. You must train me. That might mean showing me the correct way to do things, or even saving me from my own lack of … experience.” She could hardly bring herself to say it. “And … and that’s an order.”Maybe Darman also realized too that wisdom doesn't mean that you know the answer to the all the questions in the world. Darman just had to readjust his expectations about his rookie-commander. Maybe wisdom also means that you admit that you lack skills. Darman basically got the ultimate reassurance a soldier need from his commander: a rookie commander won't endanger his life and he can trust that he won't be court-martialled if he actually goes against Etain's orders and prevent her doing something stupid due to her lack of experience.
He almost smiled. “This is why I have confidence in obeying a Jedi commander. Your wisdom is unequaled.”
Etain had to think about that for a few seconds. If Jinart had said it, she would have seethed. Darman meant it. And perhaps he meant it in a number of ways.
