[HARD CONTACT] Chapter 5: Atin

[mamuzzy]

 || Republic Commando: Hard Contact || 2004 || Book series || Military, Sci-Fi || 18+ for violence and harrowing themes || 

 
You never leave your mates behind. “If he hasn’t seen us, he’s seen Darman.”

“Or what’s left of him.”

“Shut it, Atin. What’s your problem?”

“I’ve been Darman,” Atin said.

He said nothing more. Niner didn’t think it was a good time to ask for an explanation.
•───────•°•❀•°•───────•

Atin is opening up. In the middle of a battle. But he is opening up. 

Comments

[ithillia]

This always made me think that Atin is the last one alive from his original batch. This underhand comment somehow always sounded SO PERSONAL to me; that he wants to communicate something he cannot spell out due to Vau/emotional trauma reasons.
And we don't know, but maybe, MAYBE when he was the one left behind, the rest of his squad died because they tried to go back for him. That's a hell of an extra survival guilt on top of surviving Geonosis when so many died.
So when he says "I've been Darman" what he means is he wouldn't want us to die because we are here and searching for him. Because he was there and that's an insane baggage to bear.
This is my reading (HC) about this scene anyways. :3

[mamuzzy]

I have faint memories that this conversation will continue later in the book, so we will have an explanation what Atin meant by that, but I definitely don't think that Atin doesn't care. But I agree on that, Vau truly damaged this boy and he can't communicate it in the proper way. :((((

Love your thoughts <333